作文点评雅思考官点评

《作文点评雅思考官点评》由会员上传分享，免费在线阅读，更多相关内容在工程资料-天天文库。

1、（一）犯罪类雅思作文高分范文及点评Puttingcriminalsintoprisonsisnotaneffectivewaytodealwiththem.Instead,educationandjobtrainingshouldbeoffered.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?Howtohandlecriminalsisaproblemthatallcountriesandsocietiesface.Traditionally,theapproachhasbeentopunishthembyp

2、lacingtheminprisonstopayforwhattheyhavedone・Some,however,advocatefortryingtomakethembetterwithtrainingandeducationanditseemstheymayhaveagoodpoin匸Firstofall,considerallthemoneythatwehavetospendtolockpeopleupinjail・Itdoesn'tseemlikeagooduseofpublicmoneyifthepeopledon'ta

3、ctuallygetanybetter.Becausemostcriminalseventuallyareletoutofprison,ourfocusshouldbeonmakingthembettercitizens.Infact，thereasonwhymanypeopleendupinjailinthefirstplaceisbecausetheydidn'thaveagoodeducationorhappyfamily.Soiftheycanlearnjobskillstheyperhapscanfindworkandf

4、eeltheycancontributeinapositiveway.Iftheydothis,theywon'tneedcrime・Surlyeveryonedeservesasecondchance・Ofcoursethisdoesnotmeanthatweshouldbetoolenientoncriminals.Thosewhocommitcrimeshouldstillbepunished,butduringtheirpunishmenttheyshouldalsobetreated・Ifwemakeaninvestme

5、ntinthemandshowcompassion,mostwillbeabletomakeanewstart・Tosummarize,wemustmakemoreofanefforttogototherootoftheproblem・Weneedtotreatcriminalsaspatientsandgivethemthemedicinetheyneed：educationandtraining.Bygivingpeopletheskillsforasecondchancewecanmakeoursocietysaferand

6、healthier.(271words)Harvey点评：写作线索：首段，赞同题目观点；第二段，罪犯在监狱里什么都不做是花着纳税人的钱的；第三段，没有接受教育和不幸的家庭是原因，要教育，要给他们机会；第四段；当然要惩罚，但惩罚和治疗并用。末段总结。好文章。末段第二句的比喻给本文增色不少，：Weneedtotreatcriminalsaspatientsandgivethemthemedicinetheyneed：educationandtraining.十分贝占切。先学习下面的词汇和短语，然后再重读范文，体会它们在文中的运用词汇P

7、unishvt・惩罚，处罚Advocatevt•提倡jailn.监狱二prisonlenientadj.宽大的，仁慈的compassionn■同情patientn.病人短语injail监禁endup最后结果commitcrime犯罪makeaninvestmentin...投资于makeanefforttodo努力去做三分钟熟读或背诵本文最实用的三个句子Infact,thereasonwhymanypeopleendupinjailinthefirstplaceisbecausetheydidrfthaveagoodeducati

8、onorhappyfamily.Weneedtotreatcriminalsaspatientsandgivethemthemedicinetheyneed：educationandtraining.Bygivingpeopletheskillsf