点评看图作文

点评看图作文

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时间:2018-10-16

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1、点评看图作文  写作素材:  根据下图,请以“ThreeWaysofCommunication”为题,写一篇100词左右的作文。请写出每一种方法的好处。  学生习作:  Asweallknow,communicationhasbeenplayinganimportantpartinpeople’slife.AsfarasIknowtherearemanywaysofcommunication.Ofthemall,mail,telephoneandcomputeraremostcommonused.  W

2、ritinglettersisoneofthem.Peopleusewritingwordstoexchangeinformation,ideasandthoughts.Althoughthemailisslow,itisthecheapestmeanofcommunication.Thesecondtypeisthetelephone.Bytelephone,peopleusesoundtocommunicatewithothersandtheycanlisteneachotherevenifthey

3、arefarapart.Withthedevelopmentofmodernscienceandtechnology,thecomputerhasbeencomeintobeing.Communicationwithcomputersisfastandeasy.Inthisway,peoplesende-mailtoeachother.  Inaword,mail,telephoneandcomputerhelptobringpeopleinallovertheworldcloser.  实作评析:  

4、used为过去分词,应用副词修饰,common应改为commonly.  笔头语言应表达为writtenwords,writing应改为written.  means永远以复数形式出现但表示单数概念,mean应改为means.  此处表听的结果,listen应改为hear.  comeintobeing无被动语态,去掉been.  allover为副词,不可用介词修饰,应去掉in.  评语:  高级句式:现在完成进行时,被动语态,动名词作主语,让步状语从句。  过渡词汇:Asweallknow,Asfa

5、rasIknow,and,Inaword.  照应句式:开篇交待句和末尾总结句。  不足之处:形容词与副词混用错误,现在分词与过去分词混用错误,名词单复数错误,易混动词混用错误,语态错误,介词误用错误。  总体印象:层次清晰,脉络分明,线索明确。  改后范文:  Asweallknow,communicationhasbeenplayinganimportantpartinpeople’slife.AsfarasIknowtherearemanywaysofcommunicationofwhichmai

6、l,telephoneandcomputeraremostcommonlyused.  Writinglettersisoneofthem.Peopleusewrittenwordstoexchangeinformation,ideasandthoughts.Slowasthemailis,itisthecheapestmeansofcommunication.Thesecondtypeisthetelephone.Bytelephone,peopleusesoundtocommunicatewitho

7、thersandtheycanheareachothereveniftheyarefaraway.Withthedevelopmentofmodernscienceandtechnology,thecomputerhascomeintobeing.Communicationwithcomputersisfastandeasy.Inthisway,peoplecansende-mailtoeachother.  Inaword,mail,telephoneandcomputerallhelptobring

8、peopleallovertheworldcloser.

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